Writing

In light of the New Year 

1/17/19 

In light of all the chaotic changes that have taken place in my life in the past year, I feel the need to reflect on the happenstances which brought me back to my hometown, after years of traveling and living in other parts of the country. Life has been ever changing and evolving for myself and my husband, and I am so grateful for my journey. 

We started by living with family for financial reasons. In 2016, my grandfather passed away, and this catapulted me into a whole new mindset. I refused to live by anyone else's standards; I had to live my life for my happiness, in honor of him, and in creating meaning for my life which was at that time, not present. We moved in with a coworker for a short period of time; then, a tent in my parents' backyard for two months, saving up for a van we would call home for two years. We traveled up and down the east coast a total of five times(!), living in Savannah GA for one month, then Yulee, FL for fifteen months. Coming back home to PA in April 2018, we struggled with ideas and decisions for the future. Our plans to "find a plot of land to park our van on" deemed fruitless, as residential zoning laws prohibit such activity on the east coast. Not to mention, we weren't financially equipped for such a purchase, after discussing the issue with a real estate agent. Finally, we moved to an efficiency apartment in Walnutport, PA in a historical pink building right on Route 248. For five months, we created amazing memories and reveled in our newfound privacy and the luxuries of running water, a shower and appliances! We created amazing music, together and separately, and discovered scrumptious recipes that fit my food sensitivities. On November 13, 2018 we brought home our beautiful kitten, Chione. She has completed our little family and brought us immeasurable joy that we just cannot find with other humans. 

On December 28, 2018, we received a written letter that our building had been sold to a property management company. My neighbor texted me to inform me that we would all have to move out by Jan. 31. Despite the fact that we had a one year lease ending in July, the new rental company desired to "buy us out of our lease." Their plans are to completely remodel this building (built in the late 1800s) so they can increase the rent to an astronomical amount which we cannot afford. It was either the lease buyout option, or have to move three more times while they remodel only to be faced with the same home finding situation in July. 

We opted to move within thirty days. Heartbroken at the loss of our beloved first apartment together, we frantically searched for a new place. Within fourteen days we succeeded, and signed a new lease for a spot in my hometown, only four miles from work! Comparatively, this new apartment is much larger, has a separate kitchen and bathroom, and feels more like a "home" than our previous efficiency. Craig and I are settling right in, and look forward to our time together here. 

Life is all about changes, adaptability and your ability to cope with the chaos around you. One can plan every aspect of their lives down to the second, but nothing will ever be written in stone until it has already occurred. I am thankful and content with our new home, and look forward to our time here. 

"Turn your magic on; everything you want's a dream away." -Coldplay 

Rose Dearing

On Recording 

Recording for every artist is completely different. For me, the process involves mentally laying down the track or playing it, repeatedly, until the track practically records itself. Usually I can record in a few takes, but the challenge is always the editing and mixing. Also, the first hurdle is getting in the right mind set to record. I have to be completely engrossed in the music in order to succeed. Anything less results in failure. This allows me to saturate my time and get the most out of it. 

There must be a specific reason for me to record a piece, whether it is original, or a rendition of another song. This reflects my most genuine self, my mental attitudes at the time, and gives a personal perspective to my music. 

One's equipment directly affects your enjoyment of recording, and the end result. In the past year, I have updated my music recording software, from Ableton to Presonus Studio One, and the ease of use has tripled. I utilize AudioBox, and have recently upgraded my microphone to a Behringer C-1; recording my viola has never sounded better. 

I have become a recording artist instead of a performing artist over recent years, and am pleased with my decision. This allows me to focus on the art instead of the appeasement of the audience, and allows infinite room for creativity. My music is spread by word of mouth to coworkers, family, and small networking, and because of this, the interest is more genuine instead of manufactured. I have much to share, and much to learn, and hope my recordings inspire others in the world.

Reflection 2.11.18 

We all take for granted that feeling one gets whilst walking into your family home. The smell, the familiarity, the millions of mundane moments that constitute what defines "home" for you, the individual. My grandparent's home will forever be entombed this way to me. I can never go back there now because of the new owners. I will never see what became of my old bedroom of 17.5 years that was painted a dusty mauve color. Or if they tore down the old wooden full bar in the basement that hadn't been used for parties since the 80s. My grandfather's house, which he helped the architect build In the 70s, was around 3000 square feet with about a quarter of an acre land, with an in ground pool and jacuzzi. I was raised extremely privileged and I am thankful for that. Going through my young years in this manner, one would assume this was the level of living I expected of life. I Did The Exact Opposite. I revere my youth and understand the world of the senior citizens (the "silents" generation) is no longer and will never come back. I Relish In The Simple And Bask In The calm. I feed off of intellect and absorb knowledge of enlightenment. My living space is 60 square feet and yet I am more at peace with myself than I ever have been in my life. I say goodbye and thank you to my childhood memories; they will always be with me and always part of me. Mummified in my dna for safe keeping. My grandparents live in their kin, the photos that were captured of their essence and the memories I have. Their energy will always be In that house; how could it not after 45 plus years of habitation there? I hope the new family creates fond memories there too... and as I step forward onto the next rung of the wheel of the year, I say peace be with you. I look forward to co-creating 2018 with you.

Thoughts on Evolution 3.10.17 

What is, actually, the point of evolution? What is the point of finding the next improvement, expanding our horizons to the next field of discovery on the planet or in space? Why did our great ancestors who lived in the oceans, evolve into the mammals that walked on earth, to evolve into the homosapiens? What was their drive? Their ambition? What is our end goal? What is the final epiphany? What are we constantly searching for? Is the one thing that connects all of us creatures, curiosity? But then why are some species content and stagnant, seemingly satiated in their repetitive bliss? 

Billions of years ago, when the first lobe finned fishes started experimenting on crawling on land to find prey- did they do so out of necessity or ambition? Was it necessary for survival, say, because their prey was scarce in that particular region of the world at the time? Or did the incessant need for furthering one's species take over- to become the most efficient and successful creature in its clan? 

Why the progress? Where does the line between tradition and eccentric new ideas lie, and what is the cutoff point? Whilst very distinct aboriginal tribes survive, say, in the fields of the African desert or the Amazonian Rainforest, and hold dear their values and practices through hundreds or thousands of years, the rest of the world is obsessed with evolving. Whether that be spiritually to the next dimension, to which we are unsure of what this means as of yet, or to evolving technologically, which for all intensive purposes, may be separating us farther from our goals. With every advance in technology, are we just searching for the meaning of life at the end of the rainbow? Are we searching for “god” or a maker, a grand architect? Are we simply trying to prove, or disprove, what comes after death, by labeling and structuring each new discovery in science? When we explore space, what are we truly looking for, besides a comparison to our own planet, our own experience, and perhaps the chance to expand our own civilizations to new worlds? What then, is the point of expanding OUR human species and infecting the rest of the multiverse? 

The answers to many of these questions must lie in the simple fact of- the majority of humans are obsessed with the thought of dying and decay. We as a people believe that our species “deserves” to live on. That is why humans are so obsessed with raising children and “spreading” their DNA into the world- to put their fingerprint on humanity. They believe that their specific genetic make up is important enough to contribute to the mass pool of DNA encoding- to pass on their unique lineage and help the survival of the human race. But again- why? In the grand scheme of things, in the vast picture of the infinite cosmos around us and in distant galaxies we have no knowledge of, the human race is unimportant. All the discoveries, science, and learning, to the multiverse, is a fleeting grain of sand- the most knowledgeable and reputable scientists and doctors of all time are meaningless. Einstein, Newton, Galileo, and countless others have dedicated their lives to the research upon which will give us more understanding of the world around us and beyond us. What WOULD happen- if, in the impossible event, we would all “figure it out”? Whatever would we do with ourselves if all the mysteries were unlocked and there was nothing left to discover? Would there be a point to surviving, to living, to passing on the genes to continue human survival? 

What if this IS the point- that we will NEVER know? What if the whole point of the yearning of the secrets that lie ahead was the only purpose life serves? The never ending inquisition- the curiosity of life and thirst for the unknown is what keeps us going year after year. A circular argument, perhaps, but it seems there is no other explanation: the meaning of life is the inquisitive nature of personal discovery. It is not the longing for WHAT, but the longing itself. The mysterious infatuation of the land, for the lobe finned fishes, brought them to blindly mutate their bodies over time, in order to explore it. Just as we humans, blindly race to the stars in search for answers to which we know not the questions. It is the unknown which is the goal for all.

Rose Dearing